Addressing the gnaw and fulfilling a means

 The brain fire came from the amount of deliberation I have sank into my next step. Neural sputtering set fire to the piles of dead cell husks. Several cups of coffee did nothing to extinguish it; only fanned the flames. In the end, this cleared the underbrush, letting in the sunlight. Allowing me some real thinking, scheming and speculating (not as painful as I previously thought it to be).

So, with kaleidoscopic images of a thousand ideas and my heart strings making quite a hedge for my brain to see over. I've made a decision to break up this world tour into chunks. South America being the first. I´m going to fly to California and get ready for Africa and Asia.

  There would need to be a page break here anyways, as I work as a means to finance this wheeled cabaret. The hedge I was referring to earlier is also watered by the unknown waters I went tip toeing out into. I have not been away from my family and friends for so many years in a row before (I was in New York a long time before I headed South). I had no idea how it was going to effect me. The FOMO (fear of missing out) is brutally strong. Fear that I'm missing out on the lives of the people I love. It has me questioning my judgement on being away for another 4,5,6 years. I am an adventurer and a groper of the unknown but I am not a drifting orphan. A cast away by choice, a tumbleweed who knows the way home. To ride the world on two wheels is my dream, but such a continuous stretch away from family seems a crime (most that I consider family have nothing to do with blood relation). I need a recharge and a regroup. The main thing I don't ever wanna do (again) is- miss out on true experiences cuz I'm rushing to get somewhere else. This applies in all directions and is one hell of a pickle.

 So by returning to California I break my continuous line. But being the person who calls the shots and is making this up as they go, I'm ok with that.

       This way:

• I can make make money quicker doing what I enjoy, working with people I enjoy working with.
• I can rebuild Davie who is seriously in need of some fresh parts.
• I can reup my gear that is rather worn out.
• I can tailor my set up for the African deserts  
• I can thoroughly research and prepare for Africa and Asia
• I can get my charity ride and volunteer work action together easier
• I can get this painful tooth fixed
• I can rip some single track with my pals and get in all sorts of over nighters and micro-adventures.
• I can have a damn good summer in an awesome place
• I can see the humans I love and feel better about being away in the future.

 I've got an amount in my head of what I wanna make. After the hoopla and culture shock shit storm of being back dies down. I'm gonna settle into stacking up the nickles. As much as I look to having a good time, riding bikes and cavorting with the clan... This is a business trip. We have a fat tire world tour to make happen!

 About the boat crossing?  I still would like to cross the Atlantic by sailboat. Im going to continue to look on-line from California. If everything seems right, and I have luck getting hired on as crew. Ill fly back to South America to where the ship is docked... Some snowballs might do just fine in hell, people get stuck by needles in hay stacks all the time and odds tend to go up from zero with a little thing know as: trying. One never knows...